by Kevin Russell Poole, photos by Kevin Russell Poole
God bless Maggie Metnick for hanging out with me for what ended up being the longest interview in the history of The Rap-Sheet, and I wouldn’t want it any other way! She made me incredibly jealous by snacking on a new box of Girl Scout cookies, while talking about her stand-up career, her workaholism, and the best movie of all time. As you’ll see, Maggie is one of the busiest people on the internet, and I was honored that she had time to sit down for this interview! The following has been edited for length and clarity.
Kevin Russell Poole: Hi Maggie! Can you tell me how you identify as an artist?
Maggie Metnick: Okay, so what I’ve been saying in Breaking & Entering meetings, that I think has become more and more concise, is that I am a maker. I am an actor, writer, comedian, producer, but all around just a maker.
Kevin: I would agree with that! I love when people get their multi-hyphenates down to as few words as possible.
Maggie: Yeah! We all do so many things! That’s why we’re here!
Kevin: So you were introduced to me through PEA Fest 2019 when you did your solo show 12-Year-Old Boys, My Mom, and Other Things That Make Me Nervous (directed by Andrew J. Mullins)! I wrote that title so many times promoting the festival, it will never leave my little brain. But also because it’s a perfect title.
Maggie: Thank you so much!
Kevin: Of course! And this show was a kind of hybrid stand-up comedy slash super vulnerable solo show, so I want to hear you talk about how you got into stand-up.
Maggie: Oh yeah, my friends asked me to host their benefit for The Dare Tactic, a theatre company started by some people at Pace [University]. They asked me to host and just do funny bits in the middle of it, and then people kept on being like, “You should do stand-up! You should do stand-up!” and I was like, “That sounds awful!” But I liked this thing that I just did where I was getting to be silly by myself on stage, and I've done two solo shows, so I took a class at the PIT called “The Ladies Stand-Up Class!” With an exclamation point.
Kevin: Of course.
Maggie: And I got really, really good reception from our final thing, and then I just started going to open mics like crazy, and getting asked to do more shows, which I was really shocked by! So for awhile I was doing a show every month and doing open mics every fucking day leading up to that show. I was hitting it really really hard for awhile; it was nuts!
Kevin: That's so great! So I know at that point, you had experience with clowning, right? And you had done another solo show that I’ve seen a clip from. Can you tell me more about that show?
Maggie: Yeah! So that was my thesis and it was called I Want To Be Your Friend, Please. The original title was I Want To Be Your Friend, Please: Why No One Likes You And The Easy Method To Making Real Human Friends.
Kevin: (Laughs)
Maggie: That's what we do! Me and Andrew do a lot of long titles together. Andrew also worked on that with me as my director, but more like collaborator/facilitator/director. I wanted to depict my own social anxiety and all the things that I have to go through to have a “normal” conversation with people; essentially, how I taught myself to make friends. I wanted to put that in a show and see how I can physicalize all these things that I do mentally. And I want to make it a clown show because I think that’s the only device I could use. Clowns are the most vulnerable, and that’s also a completely literal depiction of how it feels. You’re a fucking clown up there trying to perform to get them to be your friend. (sighs) Yeah.
Kevin: The little clip that I’ve seen was just delightful and sad and perfect. Okay, what is your favorite role you've played as an actor?
Maggie: Oooh! Beatrice in Much Ado. I had just graduated from high school and I did Trinity Rep’s Young Actor Summer Institute back in Rhode Island. I was Beatrice, and all of my best friends were the cast around me, and I had a working fountain—for no reason—to jump in and play with. It was great, I had a great director, and it’s Beatrice! It was just fucking awesome. I also wrote the dumbshow song, when you tell the whole story before you do the play. Usually that would just be a dance, but we got to sing the song that I wrote!
Kevin: That feels like a metaphor for your career so far! It feels like you’re doing the actor thing, but you’re also creating so much of your own content on top of that.
Maggie: Yeah! I love that people let me do that!
Kevin: I mean, people love to watch you do you. I can say that personally because I love to watch you do you.
Maggie: I think that's a good rule of thumb. Everybody wants to watch you do you, I think that's for everybody.
Kevin: Sure, but I’m talking about you specifically! You shine so much when you get to be yourself, and perform your own work. And I think that's probably why you improved so quickly in stand-up and why your solo shows are so engaging. You’re just so magnetic and lovely to watch.
Maggie: Dude! That's very very kind of you to say.
Kevin: Well, it’s how I feel! I remember when I got to see a run of your PEA Fest show and I was like, “Excuse me? How dare you? How dare you come up here and just spill your entire soul and make me feel every emotion?” It was just done so successfully and so succinctly. I wrote in my notes for this interview to make sure to gush about that show as a way to wrap up this interview, but I’m not even halfway done with my questions! I can’t hold it in!
Maggie: That's so nice! Thank you so much!
Kevin: Of course! Okay, is there anybody who’s career you would like to emulate?
Maggie: Maria Bamford, Rachel Bloom, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, who else we got? I really like all of the Judd Apatow boys. I would love to be a Judd Apatow boy. Like a Paul Rudd.
Kevin: Those are great answers!
Maggie: I wanna be up there! I wanna be up there with those guys.
Kevin: That makes total sense to me. What is your favorite movie or TV show right now?
Maggie: Oh boy, okay, Steven Universe. It changes your life. Especially if you’re a queer lady, or a queer—honestly just anyone! It doesn't matter, just watch it. For movies, I just rewatched Bewitched with Nicole Kidman and Will Ferrell. I forgot how much that was my favorite movie. And one of my favorite movies is Last Holiday with Queen Latifah.
Kevin: OH!
Maggie: Do you know this movie?
Kevin: The outfits!
Maggie: I KNOW! She’s gorgeous and it’s just so good. It’s all so warm and nice, and she just gets to tell everybody what they need to hear!
Kevin: And it’s a rom-com that barely features the man. He’s barely in it.
Maggie: And it’s LL Cool J! LL Cool J being nervous is so important. It’s so exciting! Those are my top movies.
Kevin: Incredible top movies. I love that so much. The taste on you!
Maggie: (Laughs)
Kevin: Chef’s kiss! Okay so tell me all of the projects you’re working on! Because you have so many things currently in the works.
Maggie: Yeah! Okay, so I host and write a news satire show called Man Up in which I’m in drag as a man called Chip Johnson and he tells women about women’s issues. He’s a self-proclaimed Nice Guy; he’s “one of the good guys.” And he’s wrong!
Kevin: (Laughs)
Maggie: So that’s great fun. I also have a show where I read my old Harry Potter fan fiction from when I was thirteen, and that's called Harry Potter and the Forgotten Fan Fiction. I do that with my good comedy friend Darius [Ovalles], and we just launched a Patreon, so we’re making even more shit for that. I also do a lot of improv for an Instagram platform called Socially Distant Improv. I have two weekly shows on that right now. Both of the shows are on Sunday. One is at 3PM called Office Hours where you can come on and do improv with me, but anyone can come on, and it’s turned into this really wonderful community of people who keep coming back. You can really do whatever you want! People come on and do improv with me, or you can share whatever you're making right now, or you can share some of your old fan fiction. And then later on Sundays at 9PM I perform with my indie improv team called Skip Intro, and we do an improvised version of TV shows that you like. Also, my friend has a micro film festival every other week called The Sequestered, where the films have to be under 5 minutes, and have to be made on an iPhone, so I’ve made a couple of those and I’m going to continue working on those. I feel like I’m forgetting something.
Kevin: Understandably!
Maggie: This is me coping. I try so hard to make sure that gets preached. Really, the last thing I want someone to do is to compare their output to what I’m doing because what I’m doing is for my own sanity. You know what I mean?
Kevin: Totally.
Maggie: I’m trying to cope! I’m prone to workaholism. I have to work on that. I have to be better about not taking on too much, even though I really, really want to. Oh, and the other thing I’m working on! I’ve started offering creative project consulting. So now you can hire me for a session—and I’m really good at it—where I tailor everything and prepare for you and give you shit that you can work on if you have a specific project. Or if you’re like “I can’t fucking pick up a pencil and I don’t know why” and then we talk about it and and we figure out why and we figure out ways that you can pick up a pencil. I’m just trying to make people realize that they are creative. Because a lot of people are like, “I’m just not a creative person” and I’m like, “that isn’t true about humanity!” You don't have to make something if you don't want to, but that's really a bold statement to say about yourself. You make things all the time! You make soup! That’s creative!
Kevin: I really love that. I wanted to ask you how you’ve kind of transitioned to doing virtual stuff and continuing to work so hard during the pandemic. What’s that been like for you?
Maggie: I mean, I was already going insane. For the year leading up to this, I was doing so much on purpose, but I was running myself ragged and I was losing it. I was so losing it. And I’m incredibly depressed to not be performing live. It changes everything. It fucking sucks. Like that is my home, it’s my bread and butter, it’s everything to me to actually be live with people. With the virtual-ness, I was afraid of it at first, I did not like it at first, but there's still some sort of live-ness to it that is pretty positive. Being able to tap a button in real time, being able to type out “hahaha!” Even though, at first it made me really sad to have to do that. Like, “oh my god, people can’t hear me laugh and support them.” That was actually harder. It was harder for me to not be able to laugh for something than it was to not hear people laugh for something I was doing. But it’s also allowed a lot of really cool shit to happen. Like, now when I’m improvising I get to use props so easily! And I get to do sight gags and stupid shit like that. And with Man Up, we got to make a ton of new virtual content that we probably would not have otherwise. It’s so new, and good, and so painful. All at the same time.
Kevin: You’re putting into words the feelings that I haven't had words for. Because you’re doing some really cool new stuff, which is so exciting,
Maggie: Thank you so much.
Kevin: And it sucks!
Maggie: And it fucking sucks! It fucking sucks. It’s so cool that I can do this stuff now, but I’m still falling into my workaholic trap at the same time. And I had this variety show that I was obsessed with and loved and made me really happy and I cant bring myself to do anything virtual with it because it’s just to fucking sacred.
Kevin: I think it’s great to keep certain things sacred. Because we will be back together one day, and that’s when you get to bring back those things that were so special.
Maggie: For sure.
Kevin: This has been amazing, Maggie! I love seeing all your stuff on Instagram, and I’m glad you brought up your social media transparency! I loved that post where you said something along the lines of, “Hey, remember how I put out 5 thing last week? I also haven't showered since I started putting those things out. Don’t compare yourself to me!” That is so cool. I love that because it can be so hard to watch people be productive.
Maggie: Even I am constantly comparing myself to other people! And then of course there are days when I literally can't move. No one is seeing everybody on their bad days.
Kevin: Yeah, I think it rules that you’re putting that out there alongside all of the amazing content that you’re just giving away. Except for this new Patreon stuff which people are going to pay you for!
Maggie: Please!
Kevin: We'll get you at least a million subscribers to your Patreon just from this interview.
Maggie: I would love that! It’s only a dollar!
Kevin: Great, I’m signing up!
Maggie: Oh my god stop, you don't have to.
Kevin: I’m going to! I love fan fiction. Thank you so much for joining me today, this was so wonderful.