Xander Browne’s Bloody Secret Obsession

I had the pleasure of zooming in for Xander Browne’s lunch break, while he sat outside the Columbia campus on a day as sunny and clear as his disposition. Xander has a gracious and warm spirit that is palpable from the moment you meet him. He is a multifaceted talent and the work he creates is imbued with the sincerity, heart and joy that he effortlessly exudes! The following interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Photos by Kevin Russell Poole

Molly Van Der Molen: It’s such a beautiful day!

Xander Browne: Oh it’s perfect , it’s truly like the most beautiful day ever!

Molly: Ah, well I’m happy to be joining you on it!

Xander: Me too!

Molly: Okay, so for the sake of time, I’m just gonna dive into the questions. Is that okay?

Xander: Absolutely, I’m ready

Molly: I love it. First question: How do you identify as an artist?

Xander: I feel like, right now (it changes maybe on a month-to-month basis) but right now, I would identify as a - and in this order - I would identify as a writer, composer, director, musician, actor … and like the curve of that is very exponential, ya know, like, writer/composer, I do that a lot and then acting I do very little, but I do do. I’m about to be acting in something for a friend’s festival show, so I can’t say I’m not an actor.  

Molly: What are you going to be doing in their show?

Xander: I’m going to be playing a goat that has sex with a man. It’s like a comedy about the kinds of plays where a goat has sex with a man - or! - a man has sex with a goat!

Molly: Yeah ... I was gonna say, I feel like it’s the man, I feel like it’s the other way around.

Xander: Yeah, the other way, that’s true I was ascribing agency to the wrong person in that situation!

Molly: (laughs)

Xander: But it’s supposed to be a play about plays in which bizarre plays happen … It’s very uh - what’s the word, reflexive and meta, but it’s good, it’s funny, it’s very funny.

Molly: That’s awesome! And I’m super excited for what you’re doing with Emily Bubeck’s project: we’re both collaborating with her!

Xander: Yeah! I’m so excited. 

Molly: I’m really excited for whatever comes from it. You have really been lighting Emily’s life up with your music and it’s really so beautiful too! Like such a great job! 

Xander: It’s so fun! I’m really enjoying, like, for that project, flexing, like, folklore, folk music vibes, like country vibes - ‘cause, I love country music; I love folk music. I just never really compose in that vein because no one really asks me to, but Emily did, and I was like YES I’m readdyyyy!!

Molly: I’m really, I’m so excited I hope that there’s some harmonica action, just selfishly … So, have you done a lot of composing?

Xander: No!

Molly: Is this the first project you’re working on in that capacity?

Xander: Kind of, so Antigonick, the show that we just finished was the first project where I formally was asked to compose. Before that, I had just written music for my acapella group. I did a couple of original songs for them, and little underscoring bits for little film projects that I’ve worked on or little sketch projects I’ve worked on. I’ve never done lyrics and music for a formal project, besides Antigonick! That was the first time I did it, and I really liked it, and when Emily asked me to do this one, I was like “AH, yes!” and so, I think I want to push more in that direction in general and write more music stuff.

Molly: That’s really exciting! So, okay cool, what are some of the formative projects that you’ve worked on that kind of lead you to these different mediums?

Xander: That’s a good question, um, the most formative thing I’ve ever worked on probably, was in college. There was this musical called X-MAS, and it was a very silly student written, student produced musical about Christmas and I acted in it my sophomore year and I was like, “Oh that was so much fun, I want to do more!” So the next year, I directed it but I hadn’t directed, or I hadn’t worked outside of acting or singing or you know, being on that side of the table ever, so I was like, I’m going to try directing. Tried directing, really enjoyed it, even though the project was incredibly hard to work on, it was like very taxing - I didn’t realize exactly how hard directing was um, especially like directing a whole team of 4 people that were trying to write like a musical from scratch like that was -- 

Molly: Yeah, that’s a lot!

Xander: Maybe too much, maybe too much for a first project! Uh, but it definitely convinced me that I would rather be behind the scenes, behind the camera, behind the, you know what I mean! Like on the production side of things, rather than acting or singing or being a musician. So yeah, that was formative for me just because it told me I wanted to do more leadership things and it’s kind of guided me since then. Most of what I do now is trying to make things happen, trying to make projects happen, or creating from scratch, ya know, writing from scratch. 

Molly: That’s a great answer! This is non-theater-related, but what do you have for lunch?

Xander: It's a halal, chicken over rice!

Molly: Mmm, great choice! 

Xander: Good shit, good shit!

Molly: Yeah, don’t hesitate to eat it. Please enjoy -  this doesn’t have to be like -

Xander: I’ll try, I’ll be very respectful with my bites so that you don’t get grossed out by the sound of me chewing.

Molly: Okay! (laughs)

Xander: That’s what I would want.

Molly: I appreciate that! Let me think! I have a list of questions but … Oh! Do you have a dream project that you’d love to work on?

Xander: I have one, really big dream project that I tweeted about one time, nobody gave a fuck, well I mean a couple of people gave a fuck, but it’s not like I’m big on twitter. But it’s this idea that I got from a dream that I had and it’s called “Space Cajuns” or maybe not Cajuns cause I’m not sure what about the term Cajuns is right or wrong, but the idea is it’s like a sci-fi either series or ya know, a big weirdly intense play, but basically it would be about, ya know, like hundreds of years in the future when everything is really high tech and space aged whatever. There’s a group of people who are left behind in society’s ramping-up technological innovations. There’s a group of people who are left behind with no devices and who still are using like 1960’s space tech, so like the idea, aesthetically, is you have this, like, incredibly advanced space technology next to these pirates (who are like space pirates) but they use like apollo 11 stuff, ya know, like really bulky space suits and like really old, old old, technology -

Molly: Right

Xander: - and that’s like the core of it just sort of trying to get at like you know -

Molly: - like, survival of the fittest, but in space!

Xander: Survival of the fittest! And it’s like space pirates, space inequality. I think right now the weirdest thing about the world we live in is how we’re so committed to this neoliberal idea of like advancement and progress, when like, a lot of people are still living very, very non technological lives, like most people are still living lives that have not been impacted by any of the advances that have been made. So it’s like what do we, what ARE we doing? That’s like a big dream project, Space Cajuns, the other thing would be like that they’re all form like Louisiana and they’re all Cajun and the other thing is that they would have to have alligators, space alligators, SPACE ROBOT ALLIGATORS and a fan boat in space. It would just be very wacky and dumb and that’s my vision.  

Molly: That is really original. I haven’t heard anyone propose an idea like that! Especially for a theatre piece, I’m assuming this is a live performance piece, yeah?

Xander: I would love that! I think it would be so funny, and so bizarre, you know?

Molly: Yes! And really interesting for people to help conceive with you.

Xander: I think aesthetically it would be so much fun! 

Molly: Oh my god, that too, yeah, sign me up! Tickets for the front row, baby! I’m sorry it didn’t get the response on twitter that you were hoping for!

Xander: It’s like really had to encapsulate that, that weirdness in one sentence, but -- 

Molly: That's fair. Maybe someone, somewhere was like “oh my gosh, this speaks to my soul” who knows! Are you a sci-fi fan in your life, like outside of what you do artistically, are you into the sci-fi stuff?

Xander: Mhmm! I LOVE sci-fi, I love anything that’s like you know, other world, any futuristic stuff, love it. 

Molly: Nice! Do you have a secret obsession or a guilty pleasure that you’re like, I don’t know, maybe has to do with the sci-fi stuff but something you’re like, “not a lot of people know this but I am… so infatuated with...” I don’t know, American Idol, Season 3? 

Xander: Good season, I mean I’m very infatuated with, there’s three things that I’m like really obsessed with this year (not this year, but always). One of them is related to sci-fi, NK Jemmison’s season, the fifth season, or the fifth season trilogy, it’s called The Broken Earth Trilogy.

Molly: It's reading? It’s books? 

Xander: Mhmm! It’s books, it’s reading. I like, was not into reading when this year started, but I found these books and I got so into reading 

Molly: Awesome, that is exciting.

Xander: It’s really cool, it’s about these like people, you know, on Earth 30 billion years in the future, and there’s this race of people that can like control rocks and stuff like earth benders but they’re subjugated people and it’s supposed to be like this analogy to blackness in America, it’s really cool.

Molly: Wow.

Xander: - but I’m obsessed with that, and then I’m also obsessed with Joni Mitchell ...

Molly: Yes!

Xander: ...as a concept

Molly: as a concept? Expand on that.

Xander: She is like, I just love the idea of her as a person, I love all of her music, I love her story, I love what she stands for, I just love everything she does. I could talk about her for literal years. And I don’t know if that qualifies it as like a guilty pleasure, because I’m not guilty about it, but other people WANT me to feel guilty about it.

Molly: No, there’s nothing to be guilty about when it comes to Joni Mitchell. She very literally changed the landscape of American music, let alone women in American music 

Xander: Period. 

Molly: - and she’s like a queer icon too.

Xander: - and song writing? She like, she mothered all the songwriters of today.

Molly: Yes.

Xander: There would be none of, there would be no Kacey Musgraves, there would be no Lana Del Ray, oh my god … But yeah, so Joni Mitchell, those Broken Earth books and also Carrie: the Musical, that’s also another dream project.

Molly: Me Too! ME TOO! I LOVE that show, that is one of my DREAM projects to direct. UGH!

Xander: It’s just so good!

Molly: It’s SO good, also Carrie is just an unsung character, I feel like everyone you know kind of looks at the camp of it all and also the show’s lack of success and just like the Stephen King book, like the concept of Carrie is, it’s a struggle but I do think that she really, really, I don’t know I think that she is misunderstood.

Xander: It has such a heart to it

Molly: YES

Xander: - and all the failure that it has endured over the decades ...

Molly: And yet people still do it!

Xander: People still do it.

Molly: So wait, I’m sorry, I really stole the moment there, tell me about why Carrie: the Musical is your third obsession

Xander: The music is SO fun, like I honestly think, like, it is the best star vehicle for an older woman, and for any up and coming, I think it’s beautiful to pair those two rather than two women of the same age. I think it’s really cool to have like an older woman role with incredible vocal intensity, like that is so fun to me, and also just musically, the songs are so like all over the place. You’re not just in one genre the whole time, you’re kind of like doing these very old gospel hymn, fire-and-brimstone kind of things and then you’re doing like a nice 80’s pop-ballad.

Molly: And a classic ensemble showtune.

Xander: Yeah, and it just, it takes you all over the place! And I appreciate that. And I also just appreciate like any musical that deals with like, more bizarre - I think the destruction at the end, like the aesthetic challenge of that design is -

Molly: It’s so fun.

Xander: - would just be so much fun!

Molly: It's limitless! 

Xander: Limitless! But yeah, I love Carrie. 

Molly: Well hey, if you’re looking for a Carrie collaborator I’d be down because -

Xander: I feel like it would be fun to do a staged reading to start off, like get some good actors, remind people of the beauty of Carrie and generate excitement.

Molly: Okay, so I have only  8 minutes left, but I think I can ask you a couple more questions. What kind of theater excites you?

Xander: The kind of theater that excites me is … hmm.. ooh, that’s a hard question. I think the kind of theater that excites me is the kind that is, I mean the words that come to mind are honest and fun. Like, not that it needs to be a comedy, I feel like you could like always tell when the actors or the team has had a good time putting on a production, even if it’s a drama or something really sad, um so fun, and then honesty, like anything that is authentic to an experience. Like it could be a sci-if weirdo play as long as there is some core honest exploration of a human idea. That is the shit I love to watch so much

Molly: Awesome, that is such a great, great answer. Um, what is something we wouldn’t know about you just by looking at you?

Xander: oooo, um, oh that’s a good question … something ... you wouldn't know… just by looking at me… ummm. My abiding love for country music and Kacey Musgraves. … You probably wouldn’t know I’m from New Hampshire. A lot of people are surprised that I’m from rural New Hampshire and that’s probably it. I have a big weird family! … I feel like, for the most part, I’m a pretty open book, ya know? I don’t keep a lot of secrets. I feel like most people can tell most of my life by looking at me 

Molly: Last question: what is a theme/topic/image/motif/any of the above that you find yourself contemplating most often either in the work that you create or that you are drawn to creating?

Xander: I think I find myself, this is so specific, but the image of somebody looking up. Like not just, like, looking up, but full head tilt chin facing forward. Like eyes to the sky and the exact opposite head all the way down eyes to the floor. I love that image. I love seeing that and I just, I don’t know it ends up in everything that I work on - it has such cosmic implications. Staring at the stars or just staring up, and like physically, it’s incredibly disorienting and makes you feel like you’re gonna fall, so I don’t know! I just love that! I feel like it’s one of those visceral things that just connects to people. I don’t know!

You can keep up with all of Xander’s latest projects & shenanigans on his instagram.

Gabriella Piccolino Wants to Ask Questions

by Molly Van Der Molen, Images by Kevin Russell Poole

Star stage manager, Gabriella Piccolino, and I met for a midday Zoom call to discuss all of her superhuman strengths in and out of the rehearsal room! She is a kick ass queen who balances her bubbly sense of humor with a no-nonsense confidence that makes her the collaborator of our dreams! Gabriella is personable, worldly and warm with a charisma that is practically contagious and it was a true delight getting more acquainted with such a fabulous member of the B&E team! The following has been edited for length and clarity.

Molly Van Der Molen: OK! ALRIGHT! So, first of all super nice to meet you (officially). I’ve heard that you’re a wonderful stage manager and I’ve heard rave, rAvE, RAVE reviews from Emily and Kevin about you, so I’m excited to finally put a face to the name! 

Gabriella Piccolino: Thank you! 

Molly: I’m Molly, for the record, I didn’t even introduce myself … So, ok, so the first question, if you’re ready -- are you ready to just dive on in?

Gabriella: Yeah!

Molly: Perfect. How do you identify as an artist? Or as a creative person?

Gabriella: Um, oh boy, so, I’m not like someone that came into theater as an actor first. Like, I really just did some stuff in highschool, literally helped paint some sets. I went to a very small highschool so we had no money, um..

Molly: Where’d you go?

Gabriella: I went to Sarah Catholic High School in McKeesport, Pennsylvania - and so I was like, oh, this is kind of fun! And that is honestly how I found theater. Really, I’ve only ever identified like AS a stage manager.

Molly: That’s Awesome!

Gabriella: Yea, I don’t act, I CANNOT sing to save my life, I don’t - like literally that’s it! Like I JUST do stage management, umm, pretty much always!

Molly: What is it about stage management? What about it keeps you interested and stimulated by it - I mean I feel like stage management is the most diverse, exciting job in the theater. 

Gabriella: Umm I love people and I think I also have control issues! HA, so combine the two and I’m like OK. And I think I’m very good at kind of like reading people? And learning what they need and ya know, I hate when stage managers are like “I don’t like actors, ehhh!” Like then you just shouldn’t be a stage manager. You have to really appreciate everyone involved in the process, and most of my friends are performers, so, I’ve spent a lot of time with them and I understand the psyche, I understand them as people. I communicate pretty well even though I’m probably going to say “like” every other word (it’s a bad habit).

Molly: It’s not!

Gabriella: But in terms of emails and scheduling, I’ve done some WILD schedules. PEA Fest being one of the more wild schedules that I did. 

Molly: I believe it! Pea Fest is unusual, even virtual! You were part of the virtual one right?

Gabriella: I did virtual and we had actors in California, in Texas, in LONDON. Ummmmm… that was a lot of work. It’s more like the collaborative, I mean every area of theater is supposed to be collaborative but, being that point of contact where like literally the show can’t happen without you but it’s your job to make it happen without you is kind of an interesting concept. And yea, it’s just fun! And I like being stressed. Like I don’t like being stressed but I like being stressed ya know?

Molly: That makes sense. Being a stage manager is definitely a super power in it’s own. Can you just repeat what you said about making the show happen, like the show can’t operate without you but --

Gabriella: Yea, literally the show can’t happen without you but your job is to make it happen without you. Like people aren’t supposed to know that you are there. Everything is supposed to be seamless, we’re always taught “you better have paperwork so that if you get hit by a bus and you die like someone can step in and do the show”. And you’re like OK, cool? Thank you! NO PRESSURE! 

Molly: I love stage managers. It really takes such a special talent and literally the whole entire industry would not exist without you.

Gabriella: I also am not the kind of person that likes, like, I don’t want to be in the spotlight. I’m happy to do things, I don’t need someone to be like “oh you did a good job!” like, that’s not really how I -- see here’s the thing, I know when the show is good, like I know when I made things happen the way they were supposed to happen, and I know when they didn’t. And so, I don’t need someone to be like “oh my god you were so amazing!” or to be like “oh yeah, you messed up” but they’ll always tell you when you mess up! Designers specifically - you miss a cue, that lighting designer will let you know! 

Molly: Ha! What’s your biggest, like as a stage manager what has been one of the most rewarding moments and then one of the like, oh my gosh, I hate to use this phrase, but like a cringe moment?

Gabriella: Ummmm… oh… I’m just, I have a cringe moment that came to mind but that probably shouldn't’ be published! But, like an AHA this is an amazing, successful moment I think is just anytime you think that the show isn’t gonna happen. This is kind of broad, it’s not specific, but like even in college, there’s always a moment where you’re like -- is this actually going to happen ??? Because nothing is ready. And then when I moved to New York, I had a contract for a new work and I thought like, oh, professional theater is going to be so much different than school!

Molly: No!

Gabriella: - and I’m like, we’re doing this show in a basement of a not good, dare I say, very shitty, like off-off-off broadway theater. Like it’s dirty, there’s no lights, the board is from 1822 and we open tomorrow and absolutely nothing is built? There’s no set, there's nothing, the actors don’t know their lines and when it happens, like the next day you get there and there’s an audience and the show HAPPENS. That’s theater magic for me. Like, true theater magic. So I’d say that’s always a very rewarding moment.

Molly: Do you like to stage manage musicals more so than plays or do you like to do performance art like what is your, what do you find the most joy in stage managing? Because there’s different beasts you know?

Gabriella: Everything is very different. I would say, if you would’ve asked me this three years ago, I would’ve said musicals, because that was always like my dream, and then I ended up not getting to stage manage like our big musical my senior year. (dramatic, Cabaret, I’m still a little bit bitter about it but…) so after that I didn’t really do any musicals. I stage managed A LOT of dance in college. Like a lot. And it’s cool, it’s a different kind of skill and I’ve had directors hire me because of that. They’re like, “I direct in a way that’s like, you know, choreography” and I’m like “ok, that’s cool, um ... sure”. But, I feel like right now it has been mostly new work.

Molly: That’s so exciting, because then you have some input in the development of the play because you bring a specific, and a very important perspective to the table. 

Gabriella: I think it’s interesting because some directors really do want to hear from stage managers now. It depends on how open the director is and then how comfortable the stage manager is giving input, because the director for like the first professional show I did, whom I’m very good friends with now, um, we got close during that production, but when she would ask me my opinion my instinct was to shy away! I was like “UMMMMM… I don’t think you want my opinion!”

Molly: How do you feel about that now?

Gabriella: Um… now I’m a little less hesitant about it but I’m still very careful about what I say, because my job is still to kind of be like the neutral person in the room and make sure I’m responsible for the actors, I’m responsible for the director and the designers and everybody and so if I have too much of my own opinion in the mix, I feel like it takes away from that, or it can.

Molly: Isn’t it funny though, that’s really like directing itself - like you’re kind of setting the mood for how the rehearsal goes and like (positively) manipulating the dynamic of the situation to make sure everyone feels safe and good in their roles and that really is, I mean it’s what a stage manager does but it’s also what a director does. It’s just funny how we’re all kind of stepping into each other’s zones in that way

Gabriella: I mean, I think it works best when it is a more comfortable kind of relationship and I have found it very uncomfortable when directors don’t want to hear anything. But, I’m never gonna volunteer! I’m never going to be like “Oh, this doesn’t make sense”. I’ll always ask - like “can I ask a question?” or “can I say something about this?” and then if they say no, I’m like “ok!”-  like, it’s alright. 

Molly: I’m just gonna say it, I know I’m on the other side of the country as of now, but if we ever work together your opinion is welcome in my rehearsal room! 

Gabriella: I appreciate that!

Molly: Really, truly! because that’s the thing too, I’m sorry, like I wanna have posters in my bedroom of like Stage Managers of America because also, you spend more time in rehearsal rooms than ANYONE else! So you have such a wealth of knowledge and it is a huge loss to not pull from that. People are so silly. 

Gabriella: People are interesting. 

Molly: What do you look for in an ideal collaborator? Like if you got to choose what shows you latch onto - how do you determine that?

Gabriella: um.. I really respect people that allow questions, even if it’s not necessarily opinion based, but I was always raised with the mindset of “if you don’t understand something - ask” and like the more questions you have, the better … and just like general respect is always great. 

Molly: Aw, yes! Sorry, um … I’m looking at my list of questions. Okay, was there a moment from your childhood that describes who you are as an artist now? That’s a sweet one I haven’t asked anybody yet.

Gabriella: I think I was about a year old and my parents had me do, like, a photo shoot. Ya know how parents are obsessed with pictures of their kids?

Molly: Yes!

Gabriella: - and I had my Winnie the Pooh, because I would not leave home without it and I do very specifically remember this, we did this photo shoot and in every single picture I had a different face, like a different facial expression. And, so my parents have always said that I’m “the baby with a thousand faces” and I think that that is very relatable, because I think my biggest upside and also my downfall, is that you can read EVERYTHING! Like my face shows everything! I’m a very emotional person and I’m very connected that way, so, you see it visually on my face, at all times, if I’m enjoying what’s going on or if I’m not. 

Molly: I love that though, that’s not a bad quality to have. Are you working on anything now?

Gabriella: I am! I am stage managing a new work that is part of the Broadway Bound theater festival at Theater Row. That goes up next month. It’s gonna be my first show back!

Molly: Wow! Ah that’ll be really nice! Are you, like, emotionally prepared?

Gabriella: I am! I don’t think I’m gonna need as much of an adjustment period, I just think everyone is really ready to do things that I think like emotionally it’s gonna feel very, like normal. Like a release.

Molly: I meant more just like, after having had such a long period of time not in a theater, like being back in it. Like I, just as an example, the other day, I walked through the costume shop at this theatre company. Just seeing, like, the state of a costume shop that has recently been making costumes and the lights were on and there’s just something about it that made me teary eyed and I’m ... I so agree with the relief of people feeling like “I am so ready to be back and get started” but I think there’s also just a -

Gabriella: There definitely, yeah, I don’t know, I think I am. But we’ll find out when it happens! I don’t know, I’m very emotional (like I’ve said) in general, so nothing will really surprise me! If I just start crying, I, like, cry once a day at least anyways.

Molly: That’s ok! Alright, well let me find a last question to ask you, ummmmm… who or what is the artistic love of your life?

Gabriella: The artistic love of my life … Oh god!

Molly: And it could be music or books, or whatever, it doesn't have to be anything theater related. 

Gabriella: I feel like I’m not gonna have a good answer to this question! I might have to think about this cause there’s not - I don’t get um, necessarily inspired by, but then that leaves a whole other question - what inspires you? - and I don’t know. I find inspiration in a lot of just random things and people and things that I enjoy, so I don’t know that I necessarily have like an artistic love of my life.

Molly: That’s okay!

Gabriella: I’ll think about it and if something hits me, I’ll definitely email you, but it’s, it might just be like life in general and I don’t know, I do like living ...

Molly: I feel like that’s a good answer - whatever feels true to you is good enough for me. 

Gabriella: Yeah, I’m a big traveller. Like I backpacked through Europe by myself a few years ago!

Molly: My gosh, how cool!

Gabriella: And I pull from that a lot, I’m like one of those annoying study abroad kids even though I didn’t study abroad. I’m like, “When I backpacked through Europe…” like that’s me and I am fully aware of that, so yeah, just getting to see new things and meet different people really is all I need!

Molly: Ah! That’s a great answer. I will give you one more “last” question! What is something we wouldn’t know about you by looking at you?

Gabriella: When I was a child, I wanted to be a volcanologist! 

You can keep up with Gabriella on her instagram (@gabriella_piccolino ) where you can find out more about all the incredible projects she helps to manage!

Michael Ortiz Flexes his Improv Skills in Dungeons and Dragons

By Molly Van Der Molen, Photos by Kevin Russell Poole

This Summer, the wonderfully kind and generous Michael Ortiz sat down with me on a short and sweet zoom call for his loonnngg overdue Rap Sheet interview! Michael’s zoom call presence could only be described as magazine-ready! He was strapped in with a head-set mic, a smile on his face and, with ease, positioned himself in front of a leafy green plant-strewn white brick fireplace. His warm spirit and clever sense of humor were as abundant as his many talents!  The following interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Michael: Ah, I love that! I love that little Zoom lady that says “Recording in progress …”

Molly: (Laughs) So shall I ask you your first question?

Michael: Let’s go for it!

Molly: ALRIGHT MICHAEL!!! Tell us. How do you identify as an artist?

Michael: I am an actor and a director primarily, I’ve dabbled a little bit in producing, and I really enjoy writing -

Molly: And you’re very good at it!

Michael: Thank you! I appreciate that! So, I’m very much an aspiring multi-multi hyphenate - like four hats - but in terms of actual professional credits, actor/director. 

Molly: Nice. I feel like there should be an official role in theatre for “jack of all trades.” Great answer!  Umm … let’s see. How’d you get involved with Breaking & Entering? 

Michael: So, back in the day when Chloé Hayat was at The Flea Theatre, she was a resident writer for Serials, which was the late night show that I was always in (and I eventually went on to associate produce). So, we worked really closely together on that, and she started pulling me for readings that she was doing with Breaking & Entering, and then I did the first PEA Fest, and the rest is history. 

Molly: And we love it! So what is your favorite thing that you’ve done with Breaking & Entering, so far? I mean you’ve been a part of the Breaking & Entering journey from the very beginning - like THE original resident!

Michael: Oh gosh! (laughs)

Molly: I mean it! We always love collaborating with you. And like, you know, starting a new theatre company can be a bit of a bumpy ride -

Michael: But we love the bumps!

Molly: We love ‘em and you’ve been there for them all! And all of the amazing, fun moments too! SO, yes! What’s your favorite - so far?

Michael: Oh gosh! My favorite so far … I’m just like going back in my mind … there’s been a lot! As far as shows go, I really loved the feeling and the energy of doing the first PEA Fest together. Just being able to be in that professional space at The Chain, all of us putting together this weekend festival, it just felt really celebratory, like we’ve been doing all these Rooftop Readings, and we made it to the same building as The Tank!! It felt like a real triumphant moment. It was like, the Collective is on the map! So that was awesome. 

And then, I’ve loved the writer’s group. My writing is something that I really care about, and I really want to keep diving more into and exploring. Having a safe outlet to actually practice it has been awesome. I’ve gotten so much more writing done in the last year than the five before that! (laughs)

Molly: With your writing, what’s something you find yourself contemplating most often in your work? Like specific themes or imagery or anything. Whether it’s in your writing, or acting, or a piece you choose to direct. 

Michael: I’m really drawn to genre pieces, and things that have an element of something that’s just slightly off-kilter. There’s this one writer who I’ve started working with during the pandemic actually, her name is Serena Norr, I’ve directed three shows of hers in the last year, and we met virtually for a festival. Which was super cool. I love her writing a lot because we have this similar sensibility where everything feels very straightforward, like normal comedy, but then it has this weird element that gets thrown in that makes it feel kind of Twilight Zone-y!  I love things like that! I love characters like that! I love whenever there’s a completely normal setting but there’s just one person who’s like, a little unhinged. That stuff always really interests me. I grew up with a lot of sci-fi and horror, and sci-fi-horror comedies are really my favorite genre – which is also what drew me to Chloé’s work when we were doing Serials.

Molly: I was just gonna say that! It makes sense why you two found each other. But also, I think of you as that type of actor that you’d want to call for those off-kilter types of roles.  

Michael: That’s awesome, I love that! (Laughs) I love that kind of work. 

Molly: Ah, amazing! So, what is your not-so-secret artistic obsession? 

Michael: My immediate thought is Dungeons and Dragons. I think it’s awesome. I started playing it right after I moved up here with some people that I met taking improv classes at UCB and it was one of those things that I always thought seemed really cool, but never got into. But DND is kind of in a renaissance right now because of like Stranger Things and Game of Thrones that have encouraged people to be super nerdy. And it does feel a little artistic in a way, like you get to flex those skills – it’s all improv. My best friend Bobby, you know Bobby(member of the writers group), and I are actually writing a play manual based on Avatar the Last Airbender and it’s like 80 pages right now. 

(After a brief exchange where it’s made clear that Molly really doesn’t know what a play manual is Michael asks if she can make him host - which she also doesn’t know how to do - and then he proceeds to share his incredible, imaginative and THOROUGH eighty page play manual. It is very cool and as Michael says it is most definitely “robust”.) 

Molly: Wow! That is seriously incredible. And so much work, geez! It’s also so interesting that you approach DND as improv, because obviously it really is. But also, what a great way of immersing yourself into something that recruits your other skills too. 

Michael: Yeah! And when you’re the Dungeon Master, the person who’s running the campaign, there’s an insane amount of writing too. While we spent a lot of time locked indoors it’s been great to use DND as an excuse to be anywhere else, doing literally anything, which has been great.. 

Molly: So now that you’re out in the world, do you have a dream project you’d love to direct? 

Michael: I directed a show last month that went up at The Players Theatre in the West Village, and it was great. It’s been a while since I directed in a space, cause I’ve been doing a lot of virtual stuff which has got me playing a lot with tech elements like sound, so I like projects that are very sound-heavy. I don’t know about a specific project right now, but I would love to do some sort of immersive sci-fi piece in a space that plays heavy with sound and makes the audience feel like they’re sort of displaced, or somewhere else entirely!

Molly: That’s a perfect blend of your interest in creating fictional podcasts and you as a theatre maker in general. What are you working on now and where can we catch you next? 

Michael: I’m not slated for anything else right now. I’m trying to get back into the swing of auditioning; but on the non-artistic side I’ve been really immersed in this work with The Fled Collective, with the former artists of The Flea. Since everything that happened last year we’re trying to see what we can do as a collective for the rights of non-union artists, especially BIPOC and queer artists. And trying to figure out what a future could look like, as well as the possibility of a reparative relationship with The Flea Theatre. So, that’s something I’ve been very actively involved in over the past year.  

Molly: Wow. You’re gonna be a household name of the American theatre someday. 

Michael: Ah, stop that! 

Molly: I’m serious! It’s gonna happen. 

Michael: I hope you’re right!

Molly: I’m putting that into the universe! 

Michael: Please yes, throw it out there!

You can learn more about Michael Ortiz on his instagram (@mctease), or give @thefledcollective a follow for more information on the work they are doing to create a more equitable & anti-racist theatre industry.

Declan Zhang Has a Secret Obsession That You’ll Never See Coming

by Molly Van Der Molen, photos by Kevin Russell Poole

Declan Zhang and I shared breakfast over Zoom for our grand return to the Rap Sheet! They eagerly awaited the arrival of their breakfast in their sunny plant-filled Brooklyn apartment, donning a bandana that perfectly jives with their love, dare I say infatuation, for their favorite reality TV show. Declan’s confidence soars as does their talent in everything they do. And their intellect and quick wit is charming as ever! The following interview has been edited for length and clarity.

MOLLY VAN DER MOLEN: Hi Declan! Thank you for being here!

DECLAN ZHANG: Thank you for having me!

MOLLY: So, I'm just gonna dive on in. How do you identify as an artist?

DECLAN: What I’ve usually been telling people is that I am a percussionist. I am a trained percussionist, that is what's on paper, that is what I’m trained to do, and it's something I do very well and I take a lot of pride in it. And I am also a playwright, and then I’m an actor, I’m a producer. I hate the whole multi-hyphenate, or I don’t hate it. I think it's the most natural way of being an artist. Especially living in New York. But equally important to all, I am a gardener and an amateur chef and those feel 100% equally artistic in practice.  [Editor note: Since this interview, Declan has started cheffing professionally at Dinner Party in Fort Greene.]

MOLLY: That is so true, is that something that has come up recently for you? I feel like a lot of people have found pandemic hobbies.

DECLAN: Oh, it's definitely a pandemic thing. It's also like I was such a career person before the pandemic. It was the most important thing to me and i was pretty much willing to sacrifice anything else in my life if it meant I was advancing my career, whatever that meant, and now I feel very—I mean it's still important to me, it definitely is but—

MOLLY: —it takes on a new meaning.

DECLAN: Yeah, it means different things to me now. And also, I’ve accepted that a lot of things about my life, and the life of most people in the world, will get harder every single year that I’m alive and I feel like I’ve started taking steps to deal with that now. I feel like I'm really beginning to just start to understand that growing food and knowing how to care for plants and how to prepare food in beautiful ways for people is the beginning of disaster preparedness for me. I think that sometimes, artists tend to overvalue their importance. Not, like, the importance of being an artist, but the importance of their specific art or their specific artistic practice. I do believe that art has a very critical role and I think it's the Toni Cade Bambara quote about making "revolution irresistible" or something like that, and that absolutely is, for me, the reason why artists and art-making are critical in building a better world. I also think that artists should be grounded in other parts of contributing to the world because I think you can get insular and disconnected from it if you aren’t. “Artist” should not just mean sitting in your room doing this. If you call yourself an artist, you should also be a carpenter. You should also be a gardener. You should be a plumber. You should be a nurse. I don’t know how you make art without— 

MOLLY: —exploring other things in the world?

DECLAN: —exploring non-explicitly artistic things.

MOLLY: Do you feel like you implemented some of the same tools that you use for your percussion and your playwriting in your gardening and cooking? Do you feel like you’re satisfying your artistic cravings in new ways?

DECLAN: I went to the music school at NYU and music school has so many problems. I learned so many bad lessons about art making and music school treats music as an athletic thing and not as a creative discipline and that entire framework is just wrong. But, there are valuable things I gained from that and one of the very valuable things I gained—it's actually something that’s very important for musicians to be able to do and understand—is the value of sitting down and very deliberately practicing and paying attention to technical skill. Actors don’t totally understand what that means because when you go to acting school you already know how to speak English, you already know how to walk around a room, you already know how to, like, construct a sentence. When you first learn an instrument, you have to learn the alphabet on your instrument. You have to learn to string a sentence together to communicate. 

So, there's a lot of technical skill that you have to do. I went into music school pretty behind a lot of my peers. I didn’t start doing music until, like, 10th grade, so I didn't have years of familiarity in my bones of musicianship that a lot of people did. I had to spend a lot of hours in practice rooms doing basics, doing exercises and building muscle coordination that I didn't have and that was really hard for me. I don’t get any artistic zhuzh out of individual solo work. Everything that I love about art making in theatre is collaboration, and being in rooms with people, and breathing together. I learned a lot and gained a lot of really valuable lessons from taking a step back. This is part of being an artist too: being alone, concentrating on your physical skills and really working on those and improving those. It is actually separate from a creative process, but it's very, very important and I definitely feel that it is one of the positive things I took from music school.

I moved into an apartment right before the pandemic that has this beautiful backyard and I hadn’t done gardening or plant parenting before that and I definitely brought a lot of those lessons from music school, just in terms of, like, ‘sit down, take your time and learn how to do something correctly, and do it again and again and again, and make a mistake, and do it again and again and again until you do it right.” That style of learning and absorbing information and repetition is something that I had to do for myself. I took that sense of discipline to gardening. And I think it's doing quite well out there. I’ve got a tomato plant that is huge and finally beginning to produce tomatoes, two cucumber plants, tons of morning glories, a small lemon tree that is producing its first lemon. I’ve got a kale plant that is inside. Yeah! Pride and joy for sure! The cooking thing I’ve been doing for a long time. I mean, I got a lot better in quarantine but I was already pretty good.

And I can say all the “plant gay” things like: its so centering, it can give you a sense of time, it's something to take care of which means you also take care of yourself, but I also very genuinely think that like in the next 30-40 years, dude, we better all know how to grow some tomatoes.

MOLLY: (laughs) What is something else that you’re interested in learning about that you haven’t even attempted yet?

DECLAN: Um, like wilderness stuff.

MOLLY: Like survival?

DECLAN: Survival stuff. Another big quarantine thing for me was getting into Survivor and now Survivor is like 60% of my personality. I fucking love Survivor. It's the most incredible sport.

MOLLY: It's starting soon, isn’t it? a new season is starting soon?

DECLAN: Yeah on Wednesday, September 22nd. I will be watching that. I will be on the show, I will be applying every single year until they cast me, I will get cast on the show, I will play, I will win, I am like so, so, so nerdy about this thing.

MOLLY: I believe in you!

DECLAN: And now, I’m planning a camping trip with my dad for him to teach me wilderness things and stuff like that - Oh! I think my breakfast is here, I’ll be back in 1 minute!

MOLLY: Take your time, I'm gonna pour myself a cup of coffee. 

(A few minutes later)

DECLAN: Oh my god, I’ve been so doom and gloom apocalypse and now I have my coffee and I’m like, “everything's fine actually.”

MOLLY: That looks delicious!

DECLAN: I ordered huevos rancheros, but it came in burrito form, which is interesting.

MOLLY: Oh, hm...

DECLAN: Which is fine, but it's so, oh my god, I’m so sorry I have to get my hot sauce, I’ll be right back.

(A moment later)

DECLAN: ALRIGHT! Hit me!

MOLLY: What kind of theatre excites you?

DECLAN: I’m always super compelled by storyteller theatre. Most of Shakespeare's plays are storyteller theatre, Hadestown is a storyteller piece where, like, the actors are playing actors playing characters and part of the show is like, “we’re doing a show and I’m playing this person.” I just love that. I don’t know what it is about it, but I love it.

MOLLY: Well, you as the audience are part of the show too.

DECLAN: Yes! Yes definitely that. I also just love storytelling. It is kind of like the essential narrative art form, right? I’m always captivated by theatre that does that. That’s really kind of a basic answer ...

MOLLY: No, that’s a good answer! What's your favorite theatre experience that you’ve been a part of?

DECLAN: Right before the pandemic I produced my own play called Hyacinth and Apollo. That was my first play that I ever produced in a real production. It was at Dixon Place; it was just one night. I was the playwright and also the producer and I also helped direct it. It went really really well, we packed the house, and I was so, so proud of it. I got a wonderful cast together, I really felt like I did a good job as a producer, all the cast members had such wonderful things to say to me afterwards and sent me such nice notes being like, "this was such a good process and I was really so proud of what I was able to do" and "thank you for bringing us together to do this", and that’s like the best fucking thing to hear from collaborators! And yeah, I am never going to forget what that felt like when the lights went down and the show started and there were like 100 people - there were 100 people in the room and all of them believed in me!

MOLLY: (Laughs) 

DECLAN: That was a really positive experience. And I think ultimately I belong in producer roles. That is where I probably work best and am best at facilitating great art-making. Yeah! That was great! My own play! Self-produced! Shoestring budget! But I pulled it together and it was just a really great experience with a lot of people I loved! Of course I worked at New York Theatre Workshop right before and during part of the pandemic.

MOLLY: What were you doing there?

DECLAN: I wasn’t in an artistic role, I was the executive fellow.

MOLLY: Nice, for the 2050 fellowship?

DECLAN: Yeah, so I was tangentially working on whatever productions they were doing that season.

MOLLY: That’s so cool!

DECLAN: It was, really. The bird's eye view of everything was super valuable in its own way. A lot of things I learned about fundraising and producing, at a very big level at the workshop, I took directly to how I produced Hyacinth and Apollo and those strategies absolutely transferred down to the $2000 budget that I put together for it. I loved working at NYTW. It was the right place for me. And personality-wise, I completely fit in there.

MOLLY: I’m going to ask you one last question. You’ve said so many great things! My last question: What is your secret or not-so-secret obsession? Like artistic or anything!

DECLAN: Hah! Nobody knows that I love Survivor! That's not true, everybody knows. If I like something, people have to beg me to shut up about it.

MOLLY: That's a good quality to have.

DECLAN: (laughs) well….

MOLLY: I think it is!

DECLAN: Survivor! That’s really the only answer I can give. I think it's the ultimate super-sport of physical human prowess, of human survival skills, of human social dynamics, and clawing your way to the top. It's all these little interactions and these little looks and these little asides where you’re working your way into something and you’re working someone else out of something. There's the high level strategic chess board aspect to it that’s not just the reality TV social dynamics. I mean I could just go on and on and on. Of anything America has put out in hundreds of years of cultural products, I think the good things we got are reality TV and musical theatre. And Survivor being like a real banner point of the reality TV side of things. I also, because I’ll be in it someday, think everyone needs to start familiarizing themselves with it now, so when I’m on it and have my unbelievable game-defining win, they’ll understand everything that I’m doing.

MOLLY: Do you think that you’ll ever do like a Survivor play or a project that’s like -

DECLAN: I’ve got like...things.

MOLLY: Brewing already?

DECLAN: Here’s the thing! Survivor is also incredibly theatrical!

MOLLY: Of course, it's on TV.

DECLAN: Are you familiar?

MOLLY: I haven’t seen it recently, but my parents were really into it when I was little, so I've definitely viewed it. 

DECLAN: Definitely. Well, in modern seasons, players have started to understand the performance of being on TV because you have to win the votes of the other players at the end to actually win. So people have started to understand that when they're at the tribal council, it's literally a stage and there's this very interesting, like someone should write a performance studies paper on the dynamic between the players and Jeff and like the audience. The audience that is the other players and the audience that is the TV audience, because there is something REALLY interesting from a theatre standpoint on what is happening there and I could go on and on and on ...

MOLLY: I think this falls into your interest in storytelling theatre too!

DECLAN: Exactly!

MOLLY: Because the audience is very involved in the nature of it being a competition and having something to root for. But also having the host of the show there makes it a direct address to the audience. And the audience becomes just as invested in it as the competitor.

DECLAN: And well, the really interesting thing is that now, everyone who goes on it will see the narrative lines being written into the show as it's happening to them. So, you’ll see people say in their confessionals, like, “I know this guy's gonna be a fan favorite, he's clearly an underdog, he's clearly this guy that everyone's gonna love, we have to get him out of there because everyone loves him.” So, you’ll see people fighting their own narratives and getting narratives imposed upon them and they’re running with that and they're people who aren’t actors. It's just fascinating!

MOLLY: Well that’s awesome! September 22! What time is it gonna be? 

DECLAN: 7PM! I’m gonna double check… oh, we don’t know what time yet, okay, probably at 7PM! [Editor note: It has been announced that the two-hour season premiere of Season 41 of Survivor starts at 8PM on Wednesday, September 22]. Anyway, thanks for letting me talk about that!

MOLLY: Thanks for plugging Survivor! It's really underground, not a lot of people know about it.

DECLAN: I’m gonna roll my eyes so hard when I read this interview.

MOLLY: Every other line is going to be, “ I love Survivor!"

DECLAN: (laughs)

MOLLY: Thank you so much, Declan. I hope you have a great rest of your day! 

DECLAN: Thank YOU!

MOLLY: This has been a great chat and I’m so glad I got to learn so much about you!

You can learn more about Declan on their instagram (@dclnzhang) and check out all the gorgeous food they make on their food instagram (@declanstable) and the restaurant they work at (@dinnerpartybk). You can also check out their recent short film, WELL: an iMovie Ballet on YouTube.

William Vonada Just Wants To Make Theatre Happen

by Kevin Russell Poole, photos by Kevin Russell Poole

This week, I sat down with William Vonada, the Executive Director of Breaking & Entering, to talk about his roots in theatre, his dream projects, and his not-so-secret artistic obsessions. William is one of the sweetest, funniest, and most organized people I have met, and I cannot imagine where Breaking & Entering would be without him. Photographing William in Prospect Park (with the help of his perfect girlfriend, Nikki Cannon, who insisted he smile with teeth) was one of my favorite afternoons of last year. The following interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Kevin Russell Poole: Hi William! How do you define yourself as an artist?

William Vonada: The term I’ve distilled it down to is, “Theatre Artist.” I like to work in a lot of different facets in theatre—mostly acting, but I do stage management, direction, lighting design, technical direction, administration, all of that fun stuff.

Kevin: And producing!

William: Yeah, and producing! So I’ve distilled it down to that.

Kevin: You do it all.

William: Not costume design. I’m terrible. I really do have so much respect for people who are talented at that because I am not.

Kevin: So, you could do an entire production by yourself as long as you brought on a costume designer.

William: I can’t costume it, no! (laughs)

Kevin: What attracted you to theatre? And specifically acting?

William: I started in the theatre world when I was actually quite young. Both of my parents are high school teachers, and a family friend of theirs was the musical theatre and chorus teacher, so when they were doing a production of A Christmas Carol, I ended up doing the Tiny Tim thing, which, you know, kids do. I started there and thoroughly enjoyed it, and then I kept on doing it more as a hobby in high school.  I didn’t realize it was what I wanted to do in my life until I stopped doing other things because I didn't have time for them. I just really wanted to do theatre! I liked telling stories in fun and unique and interesting ways and I liked the impact that a story could have on an audience. I did the IB program—a very strong academic program—in high school with the intention of going into the medical field because I wanted to help people. The way that I justified [pursuing theatre] to myself was that I think that stories can be extremely potent and they can ultimately help people in ways beyond just making sure they're not dying in that moment.

Kevin: That is so sweet! First thing’s first: I want to cast you as Tiny Tim now. I think that is my dream role for you. 

William: (Laughs) I don't think my voice could do it anymore, I gotta be honest.

Kevin: I don’t care! That is what I want to see! So since you started as an actor, and how did you find your way to all of these other artforms?

William: I started doing the technical theatre thing as a job at my high school theatre. Various people would rent out the space either because it was a dance studio and they wanted to have their recital there, or they were having some assembly and the space was big enough. I ended up working gigs like that backstage, either running sound board or just moving stuff around, being a stagehand, and I sort of ended up building a reputation within my high school theatre department as the guy who knows how these things work. And then when I went to college, I pursued that a little bit more. I'd say in college I grew more as a stage manager, which I really didn't expect when I came into an acting program. And then when I was directing a piece for the new works festival and we were doing load-in, I found that there wasn’t really any structure to how that process went, so being the person that I am, I ended up taking charge. I started calling for the organization I was working with, Florida Players, to create a technical direction position, which I didn't intend to, but I ended up doing the following year. It was sort of by accident and I enjoyed it! I guess the succinct way to put it is: I enjoyed getting to make theatre happen in whatever way I could. Same thing for stage management. I liked being able to help theatre be put up even in—and in some cases, especially in—the ways that people don’t always think about. Or at least lay people don't always think about. But producers, stage managers, designers are thinking about it every day. That was exciting to me! And that’s ultimately how I came to be the Executive Director with Breaking & Entering.

Kevin: You see people not doing the job as well as it could be done and you say—

William: (Laughs) OKAY WELL!

Kevin: “I see a way for this to be better, and I will make it better, and make sure everybody can be better from this.”

William: Yeah, you could probably just say I’m a control freak and I have to do everything myself.

Kevin: Which is admirable!

William: Thank you.

Kevin: I think it’s perfect for Breaking & Entering. That’s exactly what we needed on our admin team, so it ended up being perfect. So that leads me to the question: How did you get involved with Breaking & Entering?

William: I moved to New York—it feels so weird because of the pandemic so I’m trying to make sure I have the right timeline—in August 2019. I moved in with my girlfriend, Nikki, in Hamilton Heights, and I was very much unemployed and trying to find something to do for money. So I found Breaking & Entering’s post on Playbill looking for directors and stage managers and designers, and I applied for all of them (laughs), and I was eventually brought on as a stage manager for PEA Fest in 2019. And I guess you guys liked working with me because Emily approached me about the Executive Director position. 

Kevin: I remember watching you run your tech and I said “who’s this person and how can we work with them more?” You’re able to bring so much structure into a place where people are just floating around with their little ideas!

William: I have to give a shout out to my stage management professor, Jenny Goelz. I didn’t realize how good she was and how valuable all of the information that she gave to us was until I went out into the real world and I was like “okay this is so necessary.”

Kevin: Thank god for Jenny Goelz! Okay so what is a dream project for you? 

William: My dream project would be a piece of theatre that surrounds AAPI [Asian American and Pacific Islander] artists. As you probably know, AAPI are extremely underrepresented in the arts, particularly theatre, so I’m always really excited to be a part of, or work on projects that focus on them, or us. I’m a very white-presenting half Japanese man, so I’m still sort of coming to terms with the fact that I will probably not be playing an asian man on stage. But, because there are no AAPI stories, there are also no mixed-race AAPI stories. I think that’s certainly a path that the arts are going in right now, which is extremely exciting. Any way I could work on that project would be fantastic.

Kevin: That’s a perfect answer, I love that! As an actor, what is your favorite role that you’ve ever played?

William: I’ll answer this twofold. The role that I found most artistically fulfilling as an actor was my senior project in college, the University of Florida, I played Pierre Laporte in a production of Red Velvet, which is about Ira Aldridge, the first Black man to play Othello on an English stage. And that was just a challenging script, a challenging role, with one of the most--I don't want to say challenging again, but--challenging pieces of scene work that I’ve ever gone through. I feel like I gained a lot from that production in so many ways. But the most fun I had was my sophomore year, when Tilted Windmills, a producing company that worked closely with the University of Florida, put on a production called The Magnificent Revengers. It was actually the same creative team from Puffs! It was a choose your own adventure story where the audience would vote at various points in the show like, “okay you should kill this person,” or “you should spare him,” or what kind of person is this going to be: “oh they're going to be really loud,” “they're going to swear a lot” or “they're going to be really meek” and some of those votes would have lasting effects and some would just be funny things in the moment. I played this dull vaudevillian actor and every night was an adventure. It was just a blast to work on! 

Kevin: That sounds like  a dream to perform! 

William: Yeah, it was really wild. It kept you on it every night because you didn't know if you were going to die! And god bless the stage managers that worked on it, their run notes were an inch thick because they had to plan for so many different possibilities. Entire costumes and props may or may not make it on stage, or would have to make it on stage from a different point. It was just crazy!

Kevin: I feel so jealous! I’m not even a performer but I want to do that.

William: It was a great experience.

Kevin: Okay so do you have any secret artistic obsessions?

William: Secret artistic obsessions… I’m pretty vocal about what I like!

Kevin: Or artistic obsessions that somebody who doesn’t know you very well would be surprised to hear.

William: Yo, I love Lady Gaga. I love everything she does. She’s just a wonderful artist; she’s the best. 

Kevin: Yeah! 

William: Yep!

Kevin: An incredible answer.

William: Yeah I think she's an incredible artist and she’s a genius.

Kevin: Have you been a Gaga fan from the beginning? What brought you into the fandom?

William: The first album that I bought—like, physical CD that I bought—was her Born This Way album. I was kind of familiar with her work before that, but like in the sense that you’re a middle schooler and Just Dance plays at the dance.

Kevin: Of course.

William: And I didn’t really become super familiar with her work and sit down and listen to it until I bought Born This Way and everything was different from there.

Kevin: And your life changed! Your world was completely different!

William: Justice for Artpop!

Kevin: That makes me feel really happy. Okay last question! What is next for you? What’s coming up?

William: PEA Fest is coming up! Our Pre-Emerging Artist Festival is going up mid-April!  And I’m really, really excited to work with all of the artists that we brought on this year. Obviously, it has a special place in my own heart because that’s how I joined the Breaking & Entering family. We have a lot of really great artists and I can’t wait to see the actors that we are bringing on and the work they’ll be doing with these pieces.

Kevin: Me too! I can’t wait to see who the directors cast! Thanks so much for sitting down with me today, I’m super excited for PEA Fest and for my production of A Christmas Carol in which you will be playing Tiny Tim!

William: (Laughs) Oh great I look forward to it.

Kevin: I’ll just put everyone else on stilts so that you are tiny. You are the start of my Christmas Carol.

William: Okay we’ll re-write it!

Kevin: Great! A perfect project. We need to probably start meeting soon if we want to have it ready by Christmastime.

William: We have a deadline to make, so we’ll have a meeting tomorrow.

Kevin: Perfect I’ll see you then! Thanks so much!

You can stay up-to-date with William on his Facebook page. You can also check 0ut @bethtrco on Instagram for more PEA Fest news, and donate to Breaking & Entering Theatre Collective here!

Maggie Metnick Wants To Be Your Friend, Please

by Kevin Russell Poole, photos by Kevin Russell Poole

God bless Maggie Metnick for hanging out with me for what ended up being the longest interview in the history of The Rap-Sheet, and I wouldn’t want it any other way! She made me incredibly jealous by snacking on a new box of Girl Scout cookies, while talking about her stand-up career, her workaholism, and the best movie of all time. As you’ll see, Maggie is one of the busiest people on the internet, and I was honored that she had time to sit down for this interview! The following has been edited for length and clarity.

Kevin Russell Poole: Hi Maggie! Can you tell me how you identify as an artist?

Maggie Metnick: Okay, so what I’ve been saying in Breaking & Entering meetings, that I think has become more and more concise, is that I am a maker. I am an actor, writer, comedian, producer, but all around just a maker. 

Kevin: I would agree with that! I love when people get their multi-hyphenates down to as few words as possible.

Maggie: Yeah! We all do so many things! That’s why we’re here!

Kevin: So you were introduced to me through PEA Fest 2019 when you did your solo show 12-Year-Old Boys, My Mom, and Other Things That Make Me Nervous (directed by Andrew J. Mullins)! I wrote that title so many times promoting the festival, it will never leave my little brain. But also because it’s a perfect title.

Maggie: Thank you so much!

Kevin: Of course! And this show was a kind of hybrid stand-up comedy slash super vulnerable solo show, so I want to hear you talk about how you got into stand-up.

Maggie: Oh yeah, my friends asked me to host their benefit for The Dare Tactic, a theatre company started by some people at Pace [University]. They asked me to host and just do funny bits in the middle of it, and then people kept on being like, “You should do stand-up! You should do stand-up!” and I was like, “That sounds awful!” But I liked this thing that I just did where I was getting to be silly by myself on stage, and I've done two solo shows, so I took a class at the PIT called “The Ladies Stand-Up Class!” With an exclamation point.

Kevin: Of course.

Maggie: And I got really, really good reception from our final thing, and then I just started going to open mics like crazy, and getting asked to do more shows, which I was really shocked by! So for awhile I was doing a show every month and doing open mics every fucking day leading up to that show. I was hitting it really really hard for awhile; it was nuts!

Kevin: That's so great! So I know at that point, you had experience with clowning, right? And you had done another solo show that I’ve seen a clip from. Can you tell me more about that show?

Maggie: Yeah! So that was my thesis and it was called I Want To Be Your Friend, Please. The original title was I Want To Be Your Friend, Please: Why No One Likes You And The Easy Method To Making Real Human Friends.

Kevin: (Laughs)

Maggie: That's what we do! Me and Andrew do a lot of long titles together. Andrew also worked on that with me as my director, but more like collaborator/facilitator/director. I wanted to depict my own social anxiety and all the things that I have to go through to have a “normal” conversation with people; essentially, how I taught myself to make friends. I wanted to put that in a show and see how I can physicalize all these things that I do mentally. And I want to make it a clown show because I think that’s the only device I could use. Clowns are the most vulnerable, and that’s also a completely literal depiction of how it feels. You’re a fucking clown up there trying to perform to get them to be your friend. (sighs) Yeah.

Kevin: The little clip that I’ve seen was just delightful and sad and perfect. Okay, what is your favorite role you've played as an actor?

Maggie: Oooh! Beatrice in Much Ado. I had just graduated from high school and I did Trinity Rep’s Young Actor Summer Institute back in Rhode Island. I was Beatrice, and all of my best friends were the cast around me, and I had a working fountain—for no reason—to jump in and play with. It was great, I had a great director, and it’s Beatrice! It was just fucking awesome. I also wrote the dumbshow song, when you tell the whole story before you do the play. Usually that would just be a dance, but we got to sing the song that I wrote! 

Kevin: That feels like a metaphor for your career so far! It feels like you’re doing the actor thing, but you’re also creating so much of your own content on top of that.

Maggie: Yeah! I love that people let me do that! 

Kevin: I mean, people love to watch you do you. I can say that personally because I love to watch you do you.

Maggie: I think that's a good rule of thumb. Everybody wants to watch you do you, I think that's for everybody.

Kevin: Sure, but I’m talking about you specifically! You shine so much when you get to be yourself, and perform your own work. And I think that's probably why you improved so quickly in stand-up and why your solo shows are so engaging. You’re just so magnetic and lovely to watch.

Maggie: Dude! That's very very kind of you to say.

Kevin: Well, it’s how I feel! I remember when I got to see a run of your PEA Fest show and I was like, “Excuse me? How dare you? How dare you come up here and just spill your entire soul and make me feel every emotion?” It was just done so successfully and so succinctly. I wrote in my notes for this interview to make sure to gush about that show as a way to wrap up this interview, but I’m not even halfway done with my questions! I can’t hold it in!

Maggie: That's so nice! Thank you so much!

Kevin: Of course! Okay, is there anybody who’s career you would like to emulate?

Maggie: Maria Bamford, Rachel Bloom, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, who else we got? I really like all of the Judd Apatow boys. I would love to be a Judd Apatow boy. Like a Paul Rudd. 

Kevin: Those are great answers! 

Maggie: I wanna be up there! I wanna be up there with those guys.

Kevin: That makes total sense to me. What is your favorite movie or TV show right now?

Maggie: Oh boy, okay, Steven Universe. It changes your life. Especially if you’re a queer lady, or a queer—honestly just anyone! It doesn't matter, just watch it. For movies, I just rewatched Bewitched with Nicole Kidman and Will Ferrell. I forgot how much that was my favorite movie. And one of my favorite movies is Last Holiday with Queen Latifah.

Kevin: OH!

Maggie: Do you know this movie?

Kevin: The outfits! 

Maggie: I KNOW! She’s gorgeous and it’s just so good. It’s all so warm and nice, and she just gets to tell everybody what they need to hear!

Kevin: And it’s a rom-com that barely features the man. He’s barely in it.

Maggie: And it’s LL Cool J! LL Cool J being nervous is so important. It’s so exciting! Those are my top movies.

Kevin: Incredible top movies. I love that so much. The taste on you!

Maggie: (Laughs)

Kevin: Chef’s kiss! Okay so tell me all of the projects you’re working on! Because you have so many things currently in the works.

Maggie: Yeah! Okay, so I host and write a news satire show called Man Up in which I’m in drag as a man called Chip Johnson and he tells women about women’s issues. He’s a self-proclaimed Nice Guy; he’s “one of the good guys.” And he’s wrong!

Kevin: (Laughs)

Maggie: So that’s great fun. I also have a show where I read my old Harry Potter fan fiction from when I was thirteen, and that's called Harry Potter and the Forgotten Fan Fiction. I do that with my good comedy friend Darius [Ovalles], and we just launched a Patreon, so we’re making even more shit for that. I also do a lot of improv for an Instagram platform called Socially Distant Improv. I have two weekly shows on that right now. Both of the shows are on Sunday. One is at 3PM called Office Hours where you can come on and do improv with me, but anyone can come on, and it’s turned into this really wonderful community of people who keep coming back. You can really do whatever you want! People come on and do improv with me, or you can share whatever you're making right now, or you can share some of your old fan fiction. And then later on Sundays at 9PM I perform with my indie improv team called Skip Intro, and we do an improvised version of TV shows that you like. Also, my friend has a micro film festival every other week called The Sequestered, where the films have to be under 5 minutes, and have to be made on an iPhone, so I’ve made a couple of those and I’m going to continue working on those. I feel like I’m forgetting something.

Kevin: Understandably!

Maggie: This is me coping. I try so hard to make sure that gets preached. Really, the last thing I want someone to do is to compare their output to what I’m doing because what I’m doing is for my own sanity. You know what I mean?

Kevin: Totally.

Maggie: I’m trying to cope! I’m prone to workaholism. I have to work on that. I have to be better about not taking on too much, even though I really, really want to. Oh, and the other thing I’m working on! I’ve started offering creative project consulting. So now you can hire me for a session—and I’m really good at it—where I tailor everything and prepare for you and give you shit that you can work on if you have a specific project. Or if you’re like “I can’t fucking pick up a pencil and I don’t know why” and then we talk about it and and we figure out why and we figure out ways that you can pick up a pencil. I’m just trying to make people realize that they are creative. Because a lot of people are like, “I’m just not a creative person” and I’m like, “that isn’t true about humanity!” You don't have to make something if you don't want to, but that's really a bold statement to say about yourself. You make things all the time! You make soup! That’s creative! 

Kevin: I really love that. I wanted to ask you how you’ve kind of transitioned to doing virtual stuff and continuing to work so hard during the pandemic. What’s that been like for you?

Maggie: I mean, I was already going insane. For the year leading up to this, I was doing so much on purpose, but I was running myself ragged and I was losing it. I was so losing it. And I’m incredibly depressed to not be performing live. It changes everything. It fucking sucks. Like that is my home, it’s my bread and butter, it’s everything to me to actually be live with people. With the virtual-ness, I was afraid of it at first, I did not like it at first, but there's still some sort of live-ness to it that is pretty positive. Being able to tap a button in real time, being able to type out “hahaha!” Even though, at first it made me really sad to have to do that. Like, “oh my god, people can’t hear me laugh and support them.” That was actually harder. It was harder for me to not be able to laugh for something than it was to not hear people laugh for something I was doing. But it’s also allowed a lot of really cool shit to happen. Like, now when I’m improvising I get to use props so easily! And I get to do sight gags and stupid shit like that. And with Man Up, we got to make a ton of new virtual content that we probably would not have otherwise. It’s so new, and good, and so painful. All at the same time. 

Kevin: You’re putting into words the feelings that I haven't had words for. Because you’re doing some really cool new stuff, which is so exciting, 

Maggie: Thank you so much.

Kevin: And it sucks!

Maggie: And it fucking sucks! It fucking sucks. It’s so cool that I can do this stuff now, but I’m still falling into my workaholic trap at the same time. And I had this variety show that I was obsessed with and loved and made me really happy and I cant bring myself to do anything virtual with it because it’s just to fucking sacred. 

Kevin: I think it’s great to keep certain things sacred. Because we will be back together one day, and that’s when you get to bring back those things that were so special. 

Maggie: For sure.

Kevin: This has been amazing, Maggie! I love seeing all your stuff on Instagram, and I’m glad you brought up your social media transparency! I loved that post where you said something along the lines of, “Hey, remember how I put out 5 thing last week? I also haven't showered since I started putting those things out. Don’t compare yourself to me!” That is so cool. I love that because it can be so hard to watch people be productive.

Maggie: Even I am constantly comparing myself to other people! And then of course there are days when I literally can't move. No one is seeing everybody on their bad days.

Kevin: Yeah, I think it rules that you’re putting that out there alongside all of the amazing content that you’re just giving away. Except for this new Patreon stuff which people are going to pay you for!

Maggie: Please!

Kevin: We'll get you at least a million subscribers to your Patreon just from this interview.

Maggie: I would love that! It’s only a dollar!

Kevin: Great, I’m signing up!

Maggie: Oh my god stop, you don't have to.

Kevin: I’m going to! I love fan fiction. Thank you so much for joining me today, this was so wonderful.

Learn more about Maggie on her website (maggiemetnick.com) and her Instagram (@magnadoodler). Check out Man Up: A Show For Women on Instagram (@manupladies) and YouTube! Watch her IG Live show Office Hours on Sundays at 3PM on @sociallydistantimprov, and watch her improv team, Skip Intro Improv (@skipintroimprov), on Sundays at 9PM on Socially Distant Improv’s Facebook page. You can also watch the Virtual Rooftop Reading she starred in, this world is for the frat bros by Chloe Xtina on Youtube. Lastly, you can reach out to Maggie directly at maggiemetnick1@gmail.com for a Creative Consulting session!

Taylor Edelle Stuart Hates This Place But Loves Making Stuff

Interview and Photos by Kevin Russell Poole

I sat down with Taylor Edelle Stuart this week for a post-morning-meditation chat about art and capitalism and the abolition of the capitalistic industries of art! Taylor is one of those people you can’t help but be obsessed with. From her style to her presence to her art, she is the most effortlessly interesting person you’ll ever meet. I just want to make all the art with her, and after reading this interview, you’ll probably feel the same! The following has been edited for length and clarity.

Kevin Russell Poole: Hello Taylor! Thanks so much for joining me today.

Taylor Edelle Stuart: Hi Kev!

Kevin: How do you identify as an artist?

Taylor: I identify as a director for both film and theater with a focus on integrating those two mediums.

Kevin: That's a gorgeously constructed answer.

Taylor: I have tried so hard to get that down to as few words as possible.

Kevin: It’s so precise and it brings in your projection work without having to say “I am a director and a projection designer.”

Taylor: Right, because I work outside of the medium of theatre so often, in installation art and in music and things like that, a lot of people don't know what a projection designer necessarily is or does, so I've taken it out of my anti-medium specificity answer about myself . But for theatrical purposes, yes, that is often my title.

Kevin: I love that you’ve found such a specific niche that can translate to so many mediums!

Taylor: Thank you!

Kevin: How did you find your way to those forms?

Taylor: I think I was one of those people that knew I wanted to create things, but the tools in which I used to create were never super important to me. I started off like you, as a dancer. I don't know about you, but I feel like starting out in dance has fed so much of what I do in such a big way. There’s a commitment to rhythm and movement in everything I do, and I think that I got into theatre because of rhythm and movement and exploration and creation, and then I found all of those things in film as well. It doesn't feel very useful to me to be specific about my medium. Whatever creative mode best serves a story or a feeling, I'll go with. Who knows, maybe one day down the line I'll end up being a pottery artist or a baker who’s exploring those things.

Kevin: I love that everything will always go back to rhythm and movement.

Taylor: I think so! And storytelling. You know how so many people’s Instagram bios are like “Storyteller” when they're a medium nonspecific artist? Which, like, fair! (laughs)

Kevin: (laughs) Oh, yeah.

Taylor: But, yes those are two things that I always come back to.

Kevin: Your answers feel so prepared! You talk about your art so eloquently.

Taylor: That's so kind of you to say because I feel like I'm an esoteric mess or an imposter when I do it. There's no in between.

Kevin: It's great! Okay so, are there any artists that you are obsessed with right now?

Taylor: God, I am so glad you asked this question! I’m obsessed with this filmmaker called Zia Anger. I think you would really, really like her actually. She’s done a few shorts, one called My Last Film which is this pointed indictment of the indie film industry and the institution of the moving image and it’s absolutely incredible. She's also directed a bunch of music videos for, like, Mitski and Angel Olsen. But, my favorite thing she's done was a live performance film called My First Film where you got this internet link that gave you access to her computer screen, and then she would scrub through parts of the first feature that she ever made and in a little notes tab, she would type about why it failed, how the institution of film failed her, how she got in her own way. It was also, like, this magical exploration of what the future of cinema could be if we adopt a sort of radical imagination. I just find her work so fucking weird and fascinating and honest. I love her rebel spirit of like, “I hate this place but I love making stuff,” which I resonate with fully.  

Kevin: I’m so glad you said that because it brings me to my next question: what would you most like to change about commercial theater?

Taylor: WOAH this is my favorite question! I'm definitely an abolitionist in this realm! I think that the institutions that have mutated this medium into a very, very capitalistic process should probably just slowly die. Maybe not even slowly die, I think it's to the point where they should burn rather quickly. 

Kevin: They’re kind of burning right now. 

Taylor: Yeah they are! Like so many gate-keepy and exploitative institutions have had their day of reckoning, which makes me so happy inside. It's really not about “seat at the table” mentality anymore, it’s about burning the fucking table to the ground. Then the people who were not at the table to begin with will build new tables.

Kevin: So when I say “what needs to change?” you say “everything!” 

Taylor: Yeah, I just say let's start over!

Kevin: I love it! Okay what's the best theatrical production you have been a part of?

Taylor: I did this immersive theatre piece at an art gallery in Long Island City called The Plaxall Gallery, and it was written and performed by Tana Sirois and Maria Swisher—who are really fucking awesome—and I directed the video elements. It was this personal exploration of the mind and the multiverse. I really got to experiment aesthetically. We ended up creating probably 60 minutes of video content, so at the end of the day it was like a full-ass experimental film. It was one of the first times in my New York theater experience that I felt like I could really throw spaghetti at the wall to see what stuck and get really dreamy with things, as opposed to being under harsh deadlines and just designing video to fit someone else's vision of having stock images in the background of their play.... so I had a great time!

Kevin: That sounds amazing; I would have loved to see it! Okay, what do you miss most about live theater?

Taylor: Oh God.

Kevin: Let’s get sad!

Taylor: Yeah, so sad. It’s kind of a feeling. I really just miss—not even the performance aspect—I miss being in "the room" with creative people. I've been doing The Artist’s Way. I feel like every artist is doing The Artist’s Way because we all feel a little stuck or confused. The other day the book asked, “what do you love doing?” and I think the second thing I wrote was “rehearsal rooms.” I just miss that wandering sort of wonder of being in a room with people and having a problem and needing to solve it. That's what I miss the most, I think.

Kevin: Yeah, that really is the best.

Taylor: I know! It’s been so wonderful doing the programming with B&E because that has really scratched a similar itch for me, but I just want to be in a room with you!

Kevin: It’s just not the same! Zoom rooms are not rooms.

Taylor: There's nothing like it. This is a little tangential, but The Artist’s Way has also taught me that creativity is such a fucking spiritual and holy practice, and that so much of what is spiritual and holy is what we do and experience with other people. It’s just really hard not to have that! We should be sacred with it, and I think that artists will be a lot more sacred with their practices and with each other when all of this is said and done.

Kevin: I hope so.

Taylor: I sure hope so too! And capitalism will fall and we will all be happy. The end!

Kevin: The end! Or just the beginning! 

Taylor: (laughs) I love that?

Kevin: Oh no. (laughs) So, what kinds of projects are you looking to work on in the future? 

Taylor: Ooh that’s interesting. I went through this phase right before the pandemic where I was taking lot of work I didn’t actually want to do just because I thought “this theatre is a good name” and “this person is a good person to know” and blah blah blah, and then I would be doing scripts that I didn't necessarily love... and no hard feelings to those people, we’ve all done things like that. But I really just want to be choosey! My mom always says this thing—it's a quote from someone else—but she says “I’m successful because of the things I said ‘no’ to, not things I said ‘yes’ to.” I think I wanna focus on working on scripts that speak to me, with people that I really want to work with! Not people that I feel will help me get to somewhere I'm not even sure I really want to go. I don't want to be a clown for capitalism in that way. How many times do I have to yell about capitalism in this interview? (laughs) But also, a lot of my work has been integrating film into theatrical spaces, so now I want to find a way to integrate theatre into filmic spaces so the two can be a little more even-handed in what I do. So in the interim before we get back to live theatre, I’m writing a movie that's almost done.

Kevin: Oh my god!

Taylor: Yeah, I know, it's taken me like 3 years, but I think it will be done this weekend. At least the first draft.

Kevin: That’s amazing!

Taylor: Thank you! Yeah, so I'd love to get on a film set. 

Kevin: And you just filmed something, right?

Taylor: Yeah!  I'm doing a series of short films called Boy Shorts that my friend Molly Brown has written, and is starring in. We're in post for one we shot in December, and I’m going to direct the next two. At its surface, it’s an account of dating in New York, but it really ends up thematically being about compulsive heterosexuality and it ends in the beautiful blossoming of the main character coming out, which is really fun. It’s one of those pieces where we’re queering spaces that would otherwise not be queer, which I love to do!

Kevin: Amazing!

Taylor: I’ve been thinking about putting in my hobbies on my website or my resume “queering spaces.”

Kevin: I’m going to be mad if you don't.

Taylor: It’s so dumb!

Kevin: We’re gonna link your website at the bottom of this interview and if people don't see it, they’re gonna be pissed.

Taylor: They’re gonna be like, “Taylor doesn’t really like to queer spaces.”

Kevin: Taylor is straight!

Taylor: Oh god.

Kevin: Sorry, sorry I didn’t mean that.

Taylor: Take it back!

Kevin: I really take it back. Okay, I feel like we already talked about this, but what are you working on next?

Taylor: I’m really excited about this movie! It’s the first thing I've ever been like, “I wrote this thing.” I had a really hard time accepting my voice as a writer for many, many years and then I realized that it was too painful to do anything other than exactly what I want to do with my art. So finding a way to shoot that and make that happen is the next step. I’m also designing for PEA Fest! I’m really excited to figure out how we can enhance digital theatre and bring these plays to life. I think that's really it. I’ve been working on a lot of puzzles too; I really like puzzles.

Kevin: What do you mean “that’s it”? You described a lot of very cool projects.

Taylor: And then the next two episodes of the short!

Kevin: Taylor, this was so lovely! I really appreciate that you talked about burning down capitalism and the institutions of art before I even asked about it because I knew I wanted to hear you talk about it.

Taylor: Thanks, man. I truly wake up every day like “is capitalism over yet? What am I going to do to upend it today?” (laughs)

Kevin: Anybody who follows you on any social media already knows that you feel this way. 

Taylor: (laughs) Thanks!

Kevin: That is your brand! Thanks so much for taking the time to do this.

Taylor: Thank you! Love you! Bye!

You can learn more about Taylor’s projects at tayloredellestuart.com, and follow her on Instagram (@tayloredelle). You can also check out the Instagram for the film project Boy Shorts (@boyshorts).

Molly Van Der Molen is a Creative Doula

by Kevin Russell Poole, Photos by Kevin Russell Poole

Molly Van Der Molen joined me for a not-so-brief chat for this week’s Rap Sheet! She zoomed in from her self-described “country-chic” bedroom wearing head-to-toe black, perfectly personifying the light vs. dark juxtaposition of Molly. She lights up every room she enters with her sun dresses, and light curly hair, and tattoos, and nose rings. She’s the nicest badass you’ll ever meet. The following interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Kevin Russell Poole: Hello, welcome to being interviewed by me!

Molly Van Der Molen: Hello, thank you! Thanks for having me! 

Kevin: Okay, Molly, will you start off by describing yourself as an artist?

Molly: I always feel a little nervous or apprehensive to be like “I am an artist” so, I normally end up saying “I just kind of do it all.” But the mature version of me would say “I am a director and writer and, low-key, a creative doula.”

Kevin: I would say much more than “low-key.” I have seen you help birth a lot of creative projects, and also create environments in which other people can incubate their ideas.

Molly: Yes, that's the goal! I think that is something that's a struggle for all creative people, but especially people our age. Getting past what we want people to see in order to get to the truth. It’s cliche, but in our day-to-day conversations we so easily talk around the thing we want to say, rather than actually just saying it because we’re so concerned with how we are perceived. I think when I say “creative doula” I mean that I am trying to help the birthing process along so that what comes out is the true seed of what someone wants to say. 

Kevin: I love that.

Molly: It’s also really fun for me. Especially now when I'm not directing anything. It exercises the same muscles because it's truly just being creative and collaborating and having fun discussions. It's all my favorite parts of rehearsal without the pressure of a finished project. And then when the finished product comes, it'll be so exciting!

Kevin: That's kind of how you’ve shifted during this pandemic-time. You’ve shifted from directing in person, but not towards directing virtually.

Molly: It's not that I'm opposed to directing virtually, but I think the virtual things that I've been a part of have made me feel really insecure and really unfulfilled. So, I think instead of pivoting to virtual directing, I'm pivoting to the thing that fulfills me. Having those “creative jam sessions”, for lack of a better word, leading the [Line-Up] Writer’s Group, writing on my own time and also, I co-wrote a one woman show. Those little things help keep the muscles moving but in different mediums. 

Kevin: That sounds great! I feel like the things I have directed, I’ve done as an excuse to keep exercising those muscles, but it's so cool to hear that you have continued to flex those muscles without having to participate in a medium that feels unfulfilling to you.

Molly: Right! For example, the one-woman show. Obviously, that's going to be a streamable thing, so the thought was, “how can we create this to fit in the context of a virtual theater, instead of writing it for a live theater and shrinking it?” There's a world where we take plays that are intended for a live audience in a theater, but we squash them to fit this medium just so we can continue working. There's another world where we see how much we can stretch this medium to fit a project that was designed just for this. And I think that's a fun way of problem solving that’s new and temporary, but fun!

Kevin: Well, we also don't know if it's temporary! I think there's a world in which this whole new creative medium that people have created continues, even once live theater exists again.

Molly: I think that that's true. You're so right.

Kevin: Especially the way that you're doing it–created specifically for this medium as opposed to just pretending that we’re in a theater.

Molly: But I think that there's merit to that too! I think we need all of it.

Kevin: I want to hear how you got involved with writing.

Molly: Well, when I was very little, my dream was to be an author. I read Because of Winn Dixie, like, six times in one day. I thought that was my destiny. Sad book too! 

Kevin: Yeah! Very sad!

Molly: I think I've just always loved to write, but it ebbs and flows. It wasn't until recently that I've shared my writing. Before, I would always only write for myself. Or, I would write things that were really funny and were meant to be shared, but I made it clear that like "this doesn't represent my talent or my ability", and we can all just laugh at how stupid this is. For example, I would occasionally write erotic novellas for my friends, starring my friends, and they would be over-the-top and ridiculous. But when I think back, it's like, I would pour a couple hours into these things. But yeah, it just kind of happened on its own. I would write little bits and pieces and then be like, “ah, this goes together” and then I was like, “I'm still thinking about this, I'm still writing this.” And then, working with other people on their projects helps me work on my own projects and through that, I’ve blossomed into what I would say is a writer.

Kevin: And you've also worked with a lot of people who don't consider themselves writers! And you've helped them add “writer” to their artistic label, so I think the fact that you still struggle with adding that to your artistic identity is funny.

Molly: I don't feel like I’ve earned the title yet! I see people who have so many ideas swimming in their heads and so many impulses to write and I think they’re always just waiting for permission to do it. I see that in myself and I see that in so many people. Your writing does not have to be the next Stephen King anthology, or a blockbuster hit, or a New York Times bestseller, or a Tony award-winning play. It can literally just be what you shared with three people today, and that's enough! Again, I think it's so much more about what fulfills you and what fills your soul and your heart. And not about what everybody says you are or are not.

Kevin: I think it falls under the “creative doula” umbrella, but I think you can add “inspirational speaker” to your artist identity because I feel so inspired! I'm like “I’m going to share something I wrote!” and I don't even have anything to share, but I want to share it now that I'm hearing you talk about this.

Molly: Well I'm glad! I feel so passionate about other people creating stuff. That transaction gives me the same encouragement and passion in return. So I'm glad! 

Kevin: What is your dream play to direct? 

Molly: Okay this is going to sound a little pretentious, but my dream play to direct would be one that I wrote. I want to write a play that I am proud of, and direct it and work on it with all my friends as collaborators. And new people too! I want to meet some new friends! But that's my dream. When I'm able to write, produce, and direct my own thing, that will be it.

Kevin: I mean you basically already did with everything but a presentation. [Molly wrote, directed, and co-produced her play, Girlhood, with Breaking & Entering, and had to cancel all of the performances due to the pandemic.]  

Molly: And I want to do it again! I want to do that again, but in my dream world I want to have the full space, I want to have an endless budget, I want to be able to pay everybody. I want it to be a full-fledged production that’s equitable and fun and rewarding, and that people walk away being like, “that was one of my favorite experiences ever.” It has to be the dream experience, not just the dream play.

Kevin: It feels like the experience is just as important as the final presentation. If not more!

Molly: Totally! 100%!

Kevin: Okay so what is the best theatrical production you have been a part of?

Molly: I feel like I've been lucky; I've had a lot of fun ones. Really, I was just getting started before the pandemic. It felt like we were just starting to get to the tip of the diving board and then someone was like, “no no no!” just before we were about to jump.

Kevin: They covered the pool!

Molly: Yeah exactly! So I would say my favorite experience was Girlhood for sure. Like 80% of my favorite people in the world were a part of it, and it was written with the help of people I love, created with the help of people I love. It was exactly what I was hoping it would be. I also love the Writers Group with Breaking & Entering, and I love all the Breaking & Entering stuff. I just feel like there's no pressure ... there's room to mess up, and room to do really well, and room to grow with people that I really care about, and who care about me.

Kevin: That’s so great to hear! It feels like it's the college experience of “this is the last place that you'll be able to fail with no consequences." I think that's been really important for me to help cultivate new spaces where you can fail without consequences.

Molly: So true. I think the difference is: in college you're constantly unlearning things that you were taught, whereas with Breaking & Entering, we get to put what we've learned into practice. And that’s really rewarding.

Kevin: I love to hear that! Okay I've got one last question. What is a theme or topic that you find you contemplate most often in your work?

Molly: Someone pointed this out to me the other day, that I am focused on relationships. Not love necessarily, but like–this sounds pretentious– the nuance of relationships. How we understand and justify one another's actions with care. And this is something I think about in my own life constantly. I think the whole idea of how we love each other is so – it sounds cliche – but it's endlessly interesting to all of us because we all experience that, all the time.

Kevin: “Cliche” does not mean bad, it just means familiar!

Molly: Yes, that's a great way of saying that!  I think too, because I’m still so young, something that I struggle with personally, so then I think it comes out in whatever I'm writing, is insecurity and self-worth. Girlhood is all about 15-year-olds, which is just the epitome of insecurity and evaluating your self-worth. And I have a feeling that's going to be what we're doing till we die. Looking at the older people in my life, that seems to be the case. Even when you're the most secure, you're still like, “wait a second, who am I?” I think it's fun how we can so clearly see someone else, but can be so blind to ourselves. And I think we carry that ability and that blind side with us forever. But I guess, at the end of the day, you could say that's what every play is about. 

Kevin: While that could be true, I think the fact that you have such a specific focus on it means that the play you direct, or the play you write is going to be different from other plays because that's where your brain is focusing. 

Molly: That's true, thank you!

Kevin: Thank you! I always love your writing, I love everything you do. I think about the Goose monologue from Girlhood all the time because I think that that so captures your entire vibe. When I first heard it, everything just kind of clicked about like how your brain works. And the fact that you put that to paper is just so impressive to me. And when Maggie [Metnick, member of The Line-Up] recorded it and put it on Instagram, I was just like, “Uh-oh! I was scrolling and now I am weeping!”

Molly: Well, thank you. Yeah I like that one too. That is something that I feel really proud of. Which I don't say about a lot of things, so, thank you

Kevin: Hearing you say that is just like, “Thank god she knows how talented she is.”

Molly: That’s very nice, thank you for saying that.

Kevin: Thank you so much for sitting down and letting me pick your brain!

To learn more about Molly, check out her Instagram (@mol_vdm). Be sure to like and follow the pages for Um…, the one-woman show she co-wrote with Alexandra Fortin on Facebook and Instagram. Lastly, click here to watch the Goose monologue from Girlhood, performed by Maggie Metnick.